When I met Henrik I really thought I'd met an old fashioned gentleman (and I was right!) His manners were impeccable (still are!) and he treated me like his princess (still does!)
I put all this down to him being Norwegian, you know,a small country (in terms of population) beautiful surroundings, a more innocent lifestyle and maybe that's just how kids are bought up...... Oh, how wrong was I!!!
I have found since moving here (I never really noticed it when we came here for holidays) that a large majority of Norwegians have no manners whatsoever.
Expecting to have a door held open for you? Not gonna happen!
Have someone thank you when you hold a door open for them? Hell, no!
Have someone roll over your foot with a Supermarket trolley and say sorry? I dont think so!
Give you a little "thank you" wave in the car when you let them pull out in front of you? Never!
Say sorry when they push you in a bush cause they are cycling on the pavement? In your dreams!
Say thank you when you pick them up from the ground after they just slipped on ice? Nope!
Maybe Norwegians are shy to say anything in these situations. I know they are a reserved bunch but really.....come on!! I started thinking maybe I'd just start behaving like them but why should I? I'm British,have good manners and whilst I'm living here I'm an embassador to good old Great Britain!!!!
p.s Im well aware that wherever you go in the world there are rude people with no manners (plenty in the UK) but this seems to be the norm here in Norway (the Oslo area at least!)
I think it's sad..... It's so easy to say say "please" and "thank you" and costs nothing!
How do you say, "Bah Humbug!" in Norwegian?
ReplyDeleteSad state of afairs.
Oh, I nearly forgot...Good Morning! 8-) How nice to see you this morning!
P.S. Love your blog; keep up the good work. It certainly brightens my day.
As far as I can see, rudeness and disrespect are traditional scandinavian attitudes. (Expat in Denmark)
ReplyDeleteIt is same here in Bergen Lisa. I was also shocked in first 2 weeks. But i am still keeping to say "thank you,sorry,excuse me..."
ReplyDeletethe same goes for the swedes; I had no idea how bad their manners were until I'd lived in london for a bit. there's been many a times when I've shouted at people for their rudeness, but then that's just being rude too!
ReplyDeleteit's just in-built in most brits to say thank you and sorry all the time. no guessing for which way of being I prefer :0)
You know why it is??? The limited terms of kindness in the Norwegian vocabulary. Seriously. There really is no proper way of saying "you're welcome". I try not to let it get to me any more. It's easier to just blame it on their reservedness. Good observations, though.
ReplyDeleteI agree! I have a friend who is pregnant and she has had a seat offered to her ONCE on the T-Bane during the entire time.
ReplyDeleteShe practically burst into tears of gratitude that is how shocked she was!
Pleae, can someone tell me which kind of plant, or flower, or whatever is that of the first picture? The one that's completelly covered by snow... Thanks!
ReplyDeleteIt is the same all over Scandinavia. I actually dont think they are being rude intentionally, its just not drummed into them the way it is with most Brits and Americans. But you are quite right to be mad! (expat in Sweden)
ReplyDeletegreat insights, so interesting!
ReplyDeletethanks
I could not agree more! My boyfriend is Swedish and it's take me years to teach him how to be polite! Dont you find Scandinavians really blunt also? I have been known to shout out "thank you" in Sweden when people dont aknowledge things like door opening!
ReplyDeleteWhilst I completely understand what you mean, I think it might also to some degree be a question of expectations. Being a Danish expat living in UK, I have realized that there are situations where I perceive the British as incredibly rude also - even though I know they don't mean to be. Different things are perceived as polite in different cultures, and it is very hard to come to terms with as an outsider - even in countries as alike as UK and Norway.
ReplyDeleteFor example, it drives me mad when I have thrown a dinner party and my English friends can't be bothered to send a text saying 'thank you' when they get back in the evening, or just call the next day and say 'tak for sidst'. It drives me to tears, because I perceive it as incredibly ungrateful and rude. I also find it very rude when people don't shake my hand when they meet me for the first time, but just sort of nod and say hello. And when cars do not stop when turning for pedestrians and cyclist, I've been known to have tears of anger in my eyes. All tiny things, but yet things that mean a lot to me in my daily life.
And yes, I've also had an angry Yorkshireman shout at me on the phone and tell me to go home to my own country. In fact, I've been more verbally abused during my three years in UK than I've ever been in DK!
My strategy now is that I've tried to sit down and identify exactly which situations make me feel this way. And then, when I encounter them, I try and laugh at the situation instead of getting wound up. There's no point in me walking around like a volcano, because these things will never change however much I want them to.
Needless to say, I absolutely love living here!!! But it IS a struggle to live in another country, no matter whether it's Norway, UK, or (I presume) Uganda.
Whilst I completely understand what you mean, I think it might also to some degree be a question of expectations. Being a Danish expat living in UK, I have realized that there are situations where I perceive the British as incredibly rude also - even though I know very well that they don't mean to be. Different things are perceived as polite in different cultures, and it is very hard to come to terms with as an outsider.
ReplyDeleteFor example, it drives me mad when I have thrown a dinner party and my English friends can't be bothered to send a text saying 'thank you' when they get back in the evening, or just to call the next day and say 'tak for sidst'. It drives me to tears, because I perceive it as incredibly ungrateful and rude. I also find it very rude when people don't shake my hand when they meet me for the first time, but just sort of nod and say hello. And when cars do not stop for pedestrians and cyclist when turning, I've been known to have tears of anger in my eyes. All little things, but things that nevertheless mean a lot to me.
And yes, I've also had an angry Yorkshireman shout at me on the phone and tell me to go home to my own country. In fact, I've been more verbally abused during my three years in UK than I've been in DK!
My strategy now is that I've tried to sit down and identify exactly which situations make me feel this way. And then, when I encounter them, I try and laugh at the situation! Because there's no way these things will ever change, however much I want them to.
Needless to say, I absolutely love living here!!! But it IS a struggle to live in another country, no matter whether it's Norway, UK, or (I presume) Uganda.
Hi Elisabeth, I would also be pretty pissed off if my dinner guests didnt say thank you to me also. I have never experienced that in England. As for the shaking hands thing, I feel it is the older generation that tend to shake hands and when I've shaken hands I'm often accused of being too formal! You can't win!
ReplyDeleteRudeness aside, Im glad you are happy in Great Britain!
I am! And you will be in Norway also! Just give it time.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like Norway is very similar to Finland this way. Being a Finn I didn't realize it at first but after living abroad (the UK and the USA) for a while and then returning home I realized what a rude bunch we are! Well, the culture is very different and we are much more reserved and shy than people are in other countries but still, you'd expect people to have some manners! It's very uncommon to hear a "thank you" or a "I'm sorry". People are terrible at small talk (I am too) and most often it seems that the most polite thing we can think of is to ignore everyone around us.
ReplyDeleteI remember when I was in England and I was so surprised when the bus drivers would greet you and even smile! Over here they might nod but most of them ignore you, some are even flat out rude to you. The only ones who are friendly are the youngest drivers and people who have moved to Finland from other countries.
Thanks to you all for commenting. I was nervous to write this post as I thought it would ruffle feathers!
ReplyDeleteHi Lisa,
ReplyDeleteI am a Norwegian expat living in UK. I do see what you mean here, but I feel the same about English people at the moment to be honest. I thinkw e are just as bad as each other, and whilst English people are better at saying please and sorry more, they are for example not as polite (in my eyes) when it comes to standing up on the bus for pregnant women, older ladies, polite to the elderly, shaking hands and general manners.
When I say English people, I mean the ones I have met. I think it's wrong to say "all Norwegians are bad". It sounds to me you are suffering from mbad culture shock - the same I have had in UK the last months. I complain a lot about UK people to my boyfriend, it must be very frustrating for him.
I hope it gets better for you andthat you change your views although I agree Norwegians have a long way to go! Like for example how they always say here in manchester "hello love" when you enter the store.
Inga- Oh, how I miss a friendly northener shouting out "hello love" to me!
ReplyDeleteIm sorry you are experiencing rudeness in the UK. Im not in any way saying "All Norwegians are bad" (just the ones I come across!) I will get used to this strange country but I shall never get used to the lack of simple,every day manners. (You know you have got used to bad norwegian manners when you travel to Sweden and the Swedes suddenly seem like the friendliest people in the world!)